There are many marriage experts who recommend that couples spend lots of one-on-one time together. Several experts have documented that fifteen (15) hours per week is the right goal for couple time if you really want your marriage to thrive. Don't put your marriage at risk by investing too much time in things that take you away from this essential one-on-one time with your spouse. While you spend time together, make sure you are doing things that enrich both of you. The time is important, but it is also important to use the the time wisely... do things you both enjoy. Talk respectfully to each other. Listen closely to each other. Touch each other lovingly. If you're not sure what to do for your spouse, ask him/her... your spouse knows. Finally, build in a system for success... once per week, ask each other, "How will we spend our grand 15 this week?" Map it out and follow through.
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Does an extra-marital affair directly cause a couple to divorce? Not likely... 70 to 80 percent of divorced persons studied in the Divorce Mediation Project (Gigy & Kelly) said that their marriages failed for a wide variety of reasons, but cheating was not among them. Only 20 to 27 percent said that an affair was even partly to blame. What kinds of things will send you down the road to divorce? Here's a list, but it essentially comes down to an "I don't care" approach to your spouse...
What would happen in your marriage or in another key relationship if you approached it this way?
"If, deep inside ourselves, and in our approach to others, we replace knowing with finding out, answers with questions, winning or loosing with sharing, inequality with equality, power with respect and reverence, and proving points with exploring possibilities and listening, then I think we really could change ourselves and our world." Danah Zohar |
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