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Does an extra-marital affair directly cause a couple to divorce? Not likely... 70 to 80 percent of divorced persons studied in the Divorce Mediation Project (Gigy & Kelly) said that their marriages failed for a wide variety of reasons, but cheating was not among them. Only 20 to 27 percent said that an affair was even partly to blame. What kinds of things will send you down the road to divorce? Here's a list, but it essentially comes down to an "I don't care" approach to your spouse...
- Criticism
- Defensiveness
- Contempt/Judging each other/A superior attitude
- Refusal to dialogue
- Resistance to time alone with your spouse, i.e. dates
- Angry outbursts without repair attempts or reconciliation
- When spouses aren't friends
- Negative experiences in the relationship are equal to or slightly more frequent than positive experiences
- Conversations feel more like lectures than quests for understanding
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