This is a simple way to keep multi-layered projects from getting away from you. It is designed to assist you with tracking all the fine details of complex projects. I developed the video for a ministry training organization that invited me to do some writing and training for them, but it is easily transferable to any kind of work.
Coaching to Connect was founded upon the conviction that healthy relationships are the source of healing and thriving in life, and now a bunch of rats have shown us the this is truer than we had thought. In a study of heroine addiction, rats were given the choice of water and water that was laced with heroine. Left in isolation, they chose the heroine. But when the same rats were placed in a dynamic and healthy social environment, they ignored the heroine water.
It appears that people do basically the same thing. When they can't effectively connect with other human beings, they often resort to mind-altering drugs to compensate for the lack of connection. While sobriety practices are important for addicts, they won't keep an addict sober. Only intimate human connection can keep an addict sober for the long haul. Connection, not sobriety, is the opposite of addiction... and the opposite of so many other things that plague us as individuals and as a society. CLICK HERE to read more about the research.
How will I change for the better today? Make this a daily question and your quest will set you free from whatever is holding you back from your life’s purpose.
But how can you know that you are changing for the better? Here’s a suggestion to consider:
Ask the people you live with, those who know you and love you, what you need to change about yourself in order to improve your life. I’ll bet they will have lots of suggestions. If you live alone, ask the people with whom you spend most of your time.
Push them until you get a really sincere answer, but be prepared to hear something that you are not expecting to hear.
After you’ve listened to those who know you and love you, follow these steps for change:
If you try to change and it doesn’t work, return to these steps and ask, “Which one did I not honor sufficiently?” Then proceed to make your adjustments, but don’t give up! You’ve got this!
In the first part of this two-part blog, I introduced you to a life-design process that you can use to increase your overall happiness. Here's how you can take it a step further.
After you've identified the part of your life from the nine areas (career, finance, spirituality, fitness, family, friends, significant other, living space, recreation) then you can focus on the detail of one of these areas to build the right strategies that will lead to greater happiness. Here's an example...
Family: What parts of family life really matter to you right now? Here's a possible listing:
Bold and decisive action is necessary to move you to greater happiness. It won't just magically happen. Don't wait for happiness to come to you. It's already under your nose. Take it!
It has been said that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. This is as true for individuals and couples as it is for leaders. You can design and build your happiness by examining both the physical and spiritual parts of your life and making regular and simple adjustments in the areas of your choice. Here’s how it can be done:
1. Do a holistic (mind/body/spirit) assessment of your life satisfaction by examining the following areas:
2. Focus on the one or two areas that jump off the page and say, “This part of your life needs some attention!”
3. Think deeply about your areas of change.
4. Develop daily habits that move you in the direction you want to go.
5. Enjoy your emerging new life and repeat this process for each area.
This life design process is simple, but it’s not easy. A professional life coach is trained to patiently and deliberately walk this journey with you… to stand in your greatness even when you can’t see it… to hold you accountable to what you want most deeply. It’s time to begin the journey to your dreams.
Have you ever gone after something and captured it only to realize that it wasn’t really what you wanted in the first place? Maybe it was as simple as a food item on a menu or as weighty as a house purchase or even a career choice. We often make choices without checking in closely enough with our deepest desires for happiness and fulfillment.
How can we get better at going after what we really want out of life? Here are some key things to do if you want clarity about what you really want…
Life coaching can create the conversations that will bring clarity to what you really want. Get in touch with us for a free initial conversation about what you really want.
Billy Joel earned a Grammy for best song of the year when he wrote “Just the Way You Are” in 1977. In the lyrics he proclaims his undying love and begs his lover to never change. He wrote the song for his first wife, Elizabeth Weber. The relationship ended up in divorce. Hmmm, love without change doesn’t seem to be true love.
It has been said that God loves you just the way you are, AND that God loves you too much to let you stay that way. This is much closer to the reality of true love than the Billy Joel version. Loving a person the way he is AND expecting ongoing change in the relationship are not contradictions. Wise and caring couples do both. But how?
When couples develop a mutual agreement to share all of their thoughts, reflections, hopes, dreams, disappointments, and everything else in the context of deep respect and care, they both feel loved and honored in the moment and challenged in a hopeful way to keep growing. These couples have much satisfaction with their relationships while sustaining a peaceful excitement about the wonders they still have yet to discover. It’s like saying, “I love this relationship and I can’t wait for what’s next!”
Is this what you want more of in your relationship? I’d love to talk to you about that. Explore our coaching options for information about how you can get more of this built into your love relationship.
Do you ever wonder if the things you've always believed are actually true? Here are some examples of beliefs you might want to question...
Okay, so the title is a bit misleading, but now that I have your attention... it's true... you have needs! If anyone ever tells you that she doesn't need anything, ask her to hold her breath for ten minutes. The need for air will soon become her highest concern and will drive every aspect of her thinking and behavior.
That's what needs do. They drive us. Our need for food drives us to eat. Our need for companionship drives us to join and meet. Our need for love drives us to risk and become vulnerable.
What happens when we don't admit our needs or are unaware of them? They don't go away. They can't go away... they are needs, not just wants, after all! When we don't acknowledge our needs, they continue to drive us, but they drive us in unattractive ways. For example, if I'm not aware of my need for admiration, that need will drive me to get admiration in just about any way I can. I'll become the guy who annoyingly boasts of my accomplishments as I fish for compliments the size of whales. But, if I am aware of my need for admiration, I can develop healthy strategies to fulfill the need in appropriate ways such as excelling at something and enjoying the unsolicited comments of those who notice. I can tame the need as I get back into the driver's seat of my life.
Coaching can clarify your needs and give you methods for getting them met in attractive and deeply satisfying ways. And when your needs are met, life can blossom in unexpected ways! Let's talk.
Harvard University researchers spent 75 years studying a group of men trying to discover what makes men happy. There has never been a longitudinal study that has covered this much time with this much depth. The study, called the Grant Study of Adult Development, produced five key findings:
1. Love is the strongest key to happiness. Without loving relationships, nothing else has the power to make a person happy. Work on healthy relationship skills
2. Loving your career is more important than the money you make or the power you have. Find a career that makes you happy, then figure out how you will make money at it.
3. Don’t give up on your pursuit of happiness. Even if you aren’t happy, you can become happy if you work at building strong relationship skills and finding love. Some of the people in the study who started life in terrible circumstances ended up being among the happiest because they never gave up on searching for love.
4. Connection is a key to happiness. Develop deeper connections, or new connections, with your family members, your neighbors, your co-workers, your church, your civic community, etc. The more connected you are, the more love you will experience and the happier you’ll be.
5. Overcoming challenges builds happiness. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Don’t complain about your problems; rather, find ways to get help to deal with your problems. Your connections will help you be resourceful and that is a key to improving loving relationships... the #1 key to happiness!
So, start working on your happiness by building your relationships or pursuing your passion. Never give up and stay connected. If you're feeling stuck or if you want to work on clarifying your life's passion, contact us at Coaching to Connect. We would be honored to travel the journey to happiness with you!