Marriage Coaching Frequently Asked Questions
Who benefits from marriage coaching?
Couples who are motivated to make changes that will help them fulfill their hopes and dreams for marriage benefit the most from coaching.
Can coaching help couples in crisis?
Yes, but couples in crisis should get help immediately! Most couples suffer through six years of difficulty in their marriages before seeking professional help. This is like breaking a leg and walking around on it for six months before going to the emergency room. The longer you wait, the more complex the problems become. Don’t wait another day.
What if my marriage is not in crisis, but I know there are some issues?
Yes, coaching is for you. You can address issues more quickly and effectively when you are not in crisis. Your coaching will progress rapidly and fewer sessions will be necessary to reach your goals.
How is marriage coaching different from marriage counseling?
Marriage counselors deal with neuroses or psychoses that are often rooted in past trauma. Counselors diagnose and prescribe a course of treatment. Marriage coaches focus more on current realities and future possibilities. Couples are encouraged to discover their resources for changing the culture of their relationship from one that focuses on problems to one that brings hopes alive. Marriage coaches identify the best practices of successful married couples and point to promising pathways for couples to apply these practices to their marriages in a way that respects the unique personalities of the marriage partners. Couples in coaching participate in a creative rebuilding process that results in developing the marriage of their dreams.
How long does it take for a couple to complete a coaching process?
The answer is different for each couple and often depends upon the motivation of each partner. When both partners are highly motivated to make positive changes in their relationship, they will experience the benefits of coaching within the first couple of sessions. The benefits experienced after the first few sessions become the intrinsic motivators for sustaining the positive changes for the remainder of the marriage. It is unusual for a couple to need more than 15 sessions to change their marriage from one in crisis to one marked by joy and peace.
What issues are addressed in marriage coaching?
Marriage coaching addresses all the issues that are normally important to a married couple including the following: conversation, raising children, sex, couple-time, work/marriage balance, companionship, habits, disagreements, affection, honesty, finances, household management, attraction, and more. The couple determines which issues are most important to them, and those issues become the primary focus of the coaching sessions.
Where does the coaching session take place?
The gift of modern technology makes the location of coaching very flexible. Coaching sessions are either online using video technology or by telephone. This delivery method not only maximizes flexibility, but also protects the privacy of the couple. There is no need to drive to a public location to get help for your marriage and risk running into people you know. While there is certainly no shame in getting help for your marriage, some people unfortunately don’t understand and appreciate the courage, strength, and wisdom required to seek marriage coaching.
Coaching by phone or web conference also reduces distractions in the coaching session, particularly the common distraction of self-consciousness. The sharing levels in coaching can center on highly sensitive content. The solitude that accompanies a phone conversation allows the client the freedom to express emotions more freely without the elevated visual concern of “how one appears” in the midst of a moment that is packed with personal meaning. Clients find this to be very freeing in comparison to an office visit.
Will my spouse and I be coached together at the same time?
Yes and no. Much of the work of rebuilding a troubled marriage or enhancing a happy marriage is based upon the thoughts, words and actions of each partner, which are quite distinct for husband and wife based upon the unique traits of your marriage. Each partner will be working on developing unique skills that will address the particular needs of his/her spouse. Individual coaching is necessary to help each spouse master those skills. At other times, both partners will be coached together when there are team skills that need to be addressed. Finally, coaching occasionally involves some teaching based upon what we know from research on thousands of couples who report the highest levels of marital happiness. Both spouses participate together when there are general teaching moments in the coaching process.
How effective is coaching if only one spouse participates?
Ideally, both spouses participate in the coaching process because successful marriages require a team effort. If only one spouse is willing to participate in coaching, the goal will be to soften the perspective of the non-participating spouse to get him/her engaged in the coaching process.
What is the cost of marriage coaching?
Coaching is a very affordable investment in your marriage. The average cost of a divorce in the United States is $15,000. It is a lot of money to spend for something that is likely to complicate your life. While divorce is sometimes a viable option, many marriages can be saved with the relatively inexpensive option of coaching. The exact cost of coaching is based upon the number of sessions a couple chooses to use to rebuild their marriage, but the vast majority of couples will spend only 4% - 8% of what a divorce costs.
Couples who are motivated to make changes that will help them fulfill their hopes and dreams for marriage benefit the most from coaching.
Can coaching help couples in crisis?
Yes, but couples in crisis should get help immediately! Most couples suffer through six years of difficulty in their marriages before seeking professional help. This is like breaking a leg and walking around on it for six months before going to the emergency room. The longer you wait, the more complex the problems become. Don’t wait another day.
What if my marriage is not in crisis, but I know there are some issues?
Yes, coaching is for you. You can address issues more quickly and effectively when you are not in crisis. Your coaching will progress rapidly and fewer sessions will be necessary to reach your goals.
How is marriage coaching different from marriage counseling?
Marriage counselors deal with neuroses or psychoses that are often rooted in past trauma. Counselors diagnose and prescribe a course of treatment. Marriage coaches focus more on current realities and future possibilities. Couples are encouraged to discover their resources for changing the culture of their relationship from one that focuses on problems to one that brings hopes alive. Marriage coaches identify the best practices of successful married couples and point to promising pathways for couples to apply these practices to their marriages in a way that respects the unique personalities of the marriage partners. Couples in coaching participate in a creative rebuilding process that results in developing the marriage of their dreams.
How long does it take for a couple to complete a coaching process?
The answer is different for each couple and often depends upon the motivation of each partner. When both partners are highly motivated to make positive changes in their relationship, they will experience the benefits of coaching within the first couple of sessions. The benefits experienced after the first few sessions become the intrinsic motivators for sustaining the positive changes for the remainder of the marriage. It is unusual for a couple to need more than 15 sessions to change their marriage from one in crisis to one marked by joy and peace.
What issues are addressed in marriage coaching?
Marriage coaching addresses all the issues that are normally important to a married couple including the following: conversation, raising children, sex, couple-time, work/marriage balance, companionship, habits, disagreements, affection, honesty, finances, household management, attraction, and more. The couple determines which issues are most important to them, and those issues become the primary focus of the coaching sessions.
Where does the coaching session take place?
The gift of modern technology makes the location of coaching very flexible. Coaching sessions are either online using video technology or by telephone. This delivery method not only maximizes flexibility, but also protects the privacy of the couple. There is no need to drive to a public location to get help for your marriage and risk running into people you know. While there is certainly no shame in getting help for your marriage, some people unfortunately don’t understand and appreciate the courage, strength, and wisdom required to seek marriage coaching.
Coaching by phone or web conference also reduces distractions in the coaching session, particularly the common distraction of self-consciousness. The sharing levels in coaching can center on highly sensitive content. The solitude that accompanies a phone conversation allows the client the freedom to express emotions more freely without the elevated visual concern of “how one appears” in the midst of a moment that is packed with personal meaning. Clients find this to be very freeing in comparison to an office visit.
Will my spouse and I be coached together at the same time?
Yes and no. Much of the work of rebuilding a troubled marriage or enhancing a happy marriage is based upon the thoughts, words and actions of each partner, which are quite distinct for husband and wife based upon the unique traits of your marriage. Each partner will be working on developing unique skills that will address the particular needs of his/her spouse. Individual coaching is necessary to help each spouse master those skills. At other times, both partners will be coached together when there are team skills that need to be addressed. Finally, coaching occasionally involves some teaching based upon what we know from research on thousands of couples who report the highest levels of marital happiness. Both spouses participate together when there are general teaching moments in the coaching process.
How effective is coaching if only one spouse participates?
Ideally, both spouses participate in the coaching process because successful marriages require a team effort. If only one spouse is willing to participate in coaching, the goal will be to soften the perspective of the non-participating spouse to get him/her engaged in the coaching process.
What is the cost of marriage coaching?
Coaching is a very affordable investment in your marriage. The average cost of a divorce in the United States is $15,000. It is a lot of money to spend for something that is likely to complicate your life. While divorce is sometimes a viable option, many marriages can be saved with the relatively inexpensive option of coaching. The exact cost of coaching is based upon the number of sessions a couple chooses to use to rebuild their marriage, but the vast majority of couples will spend only 4% - 8% of what a divorce costs.
A comment from one of our happy clients:
"I didn't think there was any hope for my marriage after counseling didn't help. Your coaching gave me new hope and saved our relationship."
